SPUC Youth Conference 2018

Ettore (age18 in June)

The day started like any other, it was a Friday and the weekend was coming. I just needed to get through a double period of chemistry and then I was free. But my weekend was going to be very different. I was going to engage in something truly meaningful!

My brother and I met up at home in London then left for the North. After a two hour journey and a taxi ride we arrived to the conference centre, late as Italians  normally are, but better late than never (we unfortunately missed Fiorella Nash’s talk on the fact that women are being told that their babies are hijackers or parasites, which I heard was very good) . We had a quick fish dinner and enjoyed the life themed quiz night, team names were very amusing, the pick of the bunch was ‘should have gone to SPUCsavers’. The prizes were also life themed, for example ‘Cadbury’s marvellous creations’ were the prize of choice as we are all a marvellous creations!

The next day the day started as any good day should, with Confession and Mass followed by another great thing, English breakfast! Then we had many different workshops, I went to the workshop on social media use for the spreading of the pro-life message, it was very useful and told us to avoid the week long flame wars on the comment sections of facebook and instead try and bring it into real life. 

Then we had a talk on the effects of assisted suicide laws given by Prof. David Paton, who warned of the great dangers of implementing an assisted suicide law.

Later we had a talk on the rights of conscience in European and international law, and why British medical staff should be protected. An important talk for those of us who were planning a career in medicine (of which there were many.) He explained the protections under the law which conscientious objectors had in an aspects of medicine, be it doctors, nurses or pharmacists to not perform abortions or sell abortifacient drugs and contraceptives. It was a relatively positive talk on how justice triumphs in this case, giving us the right to object and not face any consequences like being fired. Having filled our stomachs on a lunch of chilli con carne followed by cake we moved on to the next talk. This one was given by Prof. Patricia Casey on mental health and abortion. She's a psychologist who has dealt with many cases of women who have been affected by abortion both indirectly and directly. I particularly enjoyed this talk as she dissected studies done on whether or not abortion causes mental health. She commented on the fact that we do tend to exaggerate the consequences of abortion on women, of course some feel regret,  but many deal with it ‘well.’ In addition she spoke of the risk factors that increase the likelihood of women developing post abortion mental health issues, like being coerced, being a teen, history of previous mental health issues or religious beliefs. Although this may not seem very useful to the apologetics side of things, it does help us to speak the truth more fully. However she didn't leave without giving us ammunition, the studies also said that women who seek an abortion and did not receive one did not have an increase mental health issues. Basically discounting the fact that abortion is a cure for the so called dangers to the mental health of the mother. So the 96% of abortions done in the name of preventing damage to the mother's mental health are carried out for a reason that has no basis in science. But hey what do we know we're just crazy antiscience nuts, for some reason in this case several peer reviewed studies on the topic don't mean anything!

 Then SPUC Scotland gave a talk on the work Project Truth does by spreading the pro-life message and getting to the heart of the issue by having genuine conversations all around Scotland in a tour bus. This was followed by March for Life organisers who rightly said ‘people always ask us why Birmingham, and so this year we decided to do it in London instead, in the capital.’ he urged us to come and do something instead of being bystanders to a genocide. So I invite you all to come, the greater the number the better it will be. We cannot stand and do nothing, especially since we know the extent of the evil that is happening all around us.

Then there was a talk by Prof. Priscilla Coleman who gave a stream of statistics on the effects of abortion on mental and relational health, and good couples that undergo abortion have their emotional and sexual relationships fractured for good

Dinner was next and that was followed by ceilidh a fun night of dancing and socialising with like minded young people, (we even met people via Catholic mothers!) which is refreshing to someone like me who is usually the only one in the room with a different opinion, don't get me wrong I enjoy debating and putting my ideas to the test and an opinion echo chamber is not good, but from time to time it's nice not have to be on your guard.

After the ceilidh we stayed up talking into the early hours of the morning trying to solve the world's problems.

The day started with Sunday Mass and then breakfast. This was followed by a panel of speakers who answered questions about pro-life apologetics, they helped us to answer difficult questions like abortion in the case of rape and the backstreet abortion question. We need to change minds one conversation (or debate) at the time, and we need to give good answers to difficult questions.

Then there was the highlight of the conference (in my opinion) Aisling Hubert ‘counting the cost - a winnable battle. ’ It was a tough talk about the reality of the injustice that is going on all around us. And that we must be ready to lose our life for it. ‘If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.’ (Matthew 10:39) and what is a more just cause than the defence of the innocent. Hubert told of taking some abortionists to court for performing sex selective abortions, but her case was dropped on two occasions because it was not considered to be in the ‘public interest’ and she was stuck with £47,000 legal fees at the age of 20. She was faced with a choice, to go to prison or attempt to pay the fees. After long consideration she did not want to put the burden of the fees on others so was willing to go to prison. A few weeks before she was due to pay a Christian charity came to the rescue and helped her to pay the legal fees, despite her acceptance of going to prison. We saw a harrowing video of actual abortions being performed at different stages of gestation, to show us the reality of what is going on. She compared the pro life movement to the American civil rights movement, and spoke of the horrors that they went through to defend human dignity, and told us this is what is awaiting us, but there is also a great reward: eternal life. So we should take up our cross and follow Christ.

We ended with that rallying cry, a call to arms with Christ as our model and general leading us to battle. ‘with God on our side who can be against us?‘

Mattia (age 16)

My experience at the SPUC youth conference was quite overwhelming. It made me wake up and realise the extent to which abortion is a crime against human rights.

The array of talks that there were from how to be pro life on social media to the psychological effects abortion can have on a woman kept you eager to listen as you were always listening to something different. This was all of course accompanied by good laughs, new friends and a lot of food.

The talk that I will remember the most was the last one where Aisling Hubert showed us a video of an abortion taking place. I was instantly disgusted and teary eyed. However it was necessary to help us understand the horrors that take place within an abortion clinic. Straightaway I realised that I wasn’t doing enough to help these poor innocent and defenceless babies. This really pushed me to think where to go and what do next to further my journey as a pro-life activist and to expose the atrocities that take place within an abortion clinic but are so carefully swept under the carpet by today’s media and our modern day society.

Pull Up a Pew #1. Fiorella Nash. Spreading the Pro Life Message at Home and in the Media

The first episode of 'Pull Up a Pew' interview for Catholic Mothers was supposed to be recorded on 13th May this year... Things didn't really work out that day, the sound system as well as the recording equipment gave up on me. My husband had an important meeting he couldn't miss, my high tech children were not available so we had to give up... man proposes and God disposes! Although that first episode never happened I have hopes for the future... in the meantime we decided to conduct the interview by correspondence and in the past few days I have had the honour of having a wonderful email exchange with Fiorella Nash: Mum, tireless pro-life campaigner and novelist to find out how she balances writing, media work and motherhood.

Today, (though not on our Catholic Mothers YouTube channel), I have the pleasure to introduce you to this wonderful woman.

Enjoy and share!

Tell us something about yourself?

I am married with four young children. I am a novelist, journalist and campaigner, specialising in pro-life feminism. This year, I have branched out a little with my writing and published my first work of detective fiction, following the exploits of Benedictine sleuth Fr Gabriel.

What inspired your interest in the pro-life movement?

Can you remember a moment or incident when you decided this was going to be your life’s work?

I can’t pretend that there was a single moment when I ‘discovered’ the pro-life movement or realised that my life was heading in that direction. It was a slower process than that. I remember hearing a White Flower Appeal at my church when I was about 14 and being appalled by the scale of the abortion tragedy. I had a strong sense already that abortion was a tragedy but I had never appreciated before then how common abortion was and what it actually involved. I became a member of SPUC soon after that and eventually became involved with student activism. I never initially imagined that I would work for the pro-life movement, I was mostly involved with left-wing social justice groups at that point, but I came to the realisation that social justice begins at home. I have always believed that pro-life campaigning should hold a central place in the struggle for justice, alongside fighting poverty and other forms of oppression.

Apologetics for Mothers

As mothers we are in contact at school and playgroups with the people who have the greatest say in the abortion debate, mothers themselves. What do you think is the best approach? Good arguments/ strategies

I don’t think there is a single strategy that works but there are a number of things to consider. I think it is important in these settings to establish friendships as it is always easier to have a difficult or controversial conversation with people you trust and have had a chance to get to know a little. I would also say, don’t be afraid to join in with the difficult conversations. Quite often, subjects such as abortion come up as part of a discussion about a particular news story that’s doing the rounds. A moment like that can offer the possibility of a much deeper conversation. I would also caution against assuming that everyone will be against you. In spite of the widespread acceptance of abortion in this country, many people are extremely concerned about abortion and are genuinely unaware of precisely what abortion involves.

I also think it is important to make it clear that you respect women and that you respect bodily integrity. I am keen to point out that, in the end, I oppose abortion because it ends a human life. I believe in freedom and equality for women, I have benefited and my daughters will continue to benefit from female emancipation, but in the end, freedom cannot be bought at the expense of human life.

People are often deeply invested in their point of view either because they or someone close to them has had an abortion. What is the best way to approach people without making them feel judged or condemned, or is that the best way?

I would never want to judge or condemn anyone – whatever they had done. I think that goes beyond the abortion debate. There is a difference between being honest about the wrongness of an act and shunning or shaming the person responsible. I don’t believe we have any right to do that. When it comes to abortion, if you have been personally touched by abortion, if a close friend or relative has had an abortion, I think it is important to acknowledge that. I always feel that there is a tendency to think that pro-life women live in some kind of a bubble, but that is simply not the case and it helps to dispense with that myth as early as possible. One of the reasons I believe in establishing friendships with others is precisely because it avoids the possibility of becoming judgemental. I am aware that women can be left in a desperately difficult situation during pregnancy, that abortion is sometimes mooted as the only option. I always start by acknowledging what might have led to the abortion and to make it clear that I am there for the person involved. Only then is it possible to start talking about the wrongness of abortion itself. Truth and compassion are not enemies.

In the UK where the abortion debate seems so niche in comparison with the United States what’s the best we can hope for?

To win! My daughter is a competitive figure skater and one of the first things she learnt was – never aim for mediocrity. Aim to get on the podium, even if you know the odds are against you. If you aren’t going to aim to win, why are you entering the competition in the first place? In the UK, we hope to do what any pro-life movement in the world hopes to do in the long run, change hearts and minds, make abortion unthinkable, build a culture of life in which both the pregnant mother and her baby are truly valued and protected. SPUC is fifty years old this year and when the Society was first founded, I doubt anyone believed the battle would be so long-drawn-out, but we must never lose hope. 

Media work

You’ve often been interviewed on the radio and TV. What’s your experience?

 I have a lot more experience of radio than TV, partly because it is more practical – you can be interviewed for radio over the phone without having to go to a studio, so there tend to be more opportunities there and it is my favourite medium. I like the intimacy of the radio setting. Unlike TV, where there is a certain showmanship needed to appear before the cameras, speaking on the radio is more personal. People tend to listen to the radio alone – in their cars, pottering about the kitchen – so there is more of a sense of having a personal conversation with somebody, even you are having that conversation with thousands of individuals at the same time.

How do you prepare for media interviews?

I do as much background research as possible, which will include extensive reading and usually discussions with experts in the field and other members of the team at SPUC. I will usually alert friends via social media or personal messages to pray as I always feel more at ease if I know there are people praying when I go on air.

Have you had any real successes?

It is difficult to gauge how successful an appearance is, though my brief Woman’s Hour appearance generated a lot of feedback. I was happy with how it went because I was able to get a couple of points across in spite of the undisguised hostility of the presenter and the fact that she declared beforehand that a minority opinion like mine only required 4 minutes of airtime.

Have you experienced some real disasters?

Hahaha, now that would be telling! I have never had a complete and utter meltdown, but then I don’t think many people ever do. I have had occasions where I have felt very disappointed and upset afterwards because I have felt that I did not get my points across well or focus enough, particularly when I first started. The first speech I ever gave – ten days after starting the job – was an unmitigated disaster, but fortunately it was not recorded!

When the odds are stacked against you can any good come of such appearances?

A resounding YES to that, but I would qualify that by saying that one has to pick the right outlets. We are not media tarts, if you’ll forgive the expression, and no one is obliged to say yes to every media request. If there is a situation where the environment is going to be so hostile and the odds so stacked against you that there is no way you will ever be able to get your point across, it may be more constructive to decline. I have certainly had occasions where I would have declined if I had known that my opponent was going to be an aggressive, condescending bully and the promised ‘lively, light-hearted discussion’ a vicious slanging match.

  

Spreading the good news on social media

The space for discussion of abortion online is becoming ever more restricted. Pro life websites have been banned in France. What’s the current situation in the UK?

I am not aware of any pro-life sites being banned in the UK and in many ways, the rise of social media has invigorated pro-life debate. The media no longer has complete control over what stories are broadcast and which opinions are permitted airtime. Social media levels the playing field, allowing pro-life campaigners to get their message across more effectively. It has also made it much easier for groups and individuals to network and exchange ideas with organisations all around the world.

Mother’s groups and websites are very active on facebook/mumsnet etc. It’s not unheard of that people considering abortion practically put the decision to an online poll. Can and should we get involved and how?

When a woman is openly discussing the possibility of having an abortion, I think it is important to be the person who offers an alternative. I have heard women who regret their abortions say that if just one person had suggested an alternative or said ‘you don’t have to do this’ they would not have had the abortion. Go gently, maybe post the number of a helpline they could talk to. They may not pick up the phone, but at least you will know that you gave life a chance. The thing to avoid in a situation like that is getting into slanging matches or coming across as preachy. I once read a rant written by a woman instructing a post-abortive woman to ‘learn to save sex for marriage in future’ and the woman turned out to be married. All it did was to make the pro-life intervener look ridiculous and to provoke a venomous exchange from other posters. As with all online interaction, the first rule is: remember that you are dealing with another person here, imagine that you are interacting with them face-to-face before you post your comment.

Bringing up a pro-life family

What do you do in the home to pass on the pro-life message?

I answer all my children’s questions on life, marriage and sexuality as openly as possible, whilst keeping my answers age-appropriate. The most important piece of advice I ever received about building a pro-life ethos in your home is to avoid harsh words and criticism. I once read an article by a mum who talked about the damage done by parents who talk negatively about other people in front of their children and how it breeds a culture of fear and shame in a home. More than anything else, I try to build trust and respect within the family unit and to keep channels of communication open. I want my children to know that every family member is welcome and that, whatever they do, whatever mistakes they make in life, they are loved, the home will always be a place of safety for them and we can always try to work things out together.

Fiorella and her Novels

Click on the image to buy her books

Which books inspired you to write your own Catholic fiction?

I never set out to write Catholic fiction, but I have wanted to be a writer since I was a child and there have been too many influences on my writing to count. I once joked to a journalist that I would ‘like to be Evelyn Waugh’ but a friend told me that my books are so dark in places that I come across as much more a disciple of Graham Greene! If I were to name my two biggest inspirations, I would probably say Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning and Solzhenitsyn, both as a man and as a writer. I remember reading Ivan Denisovich when I was at school and being completely overwhelmed by how vivid it was. I kept thinking how amazing it would be to be able to write like that.  

Are you setting out to write a really good Catholic novel or a good novel that happens to be Catholic? 

Definitely the latter. First and foremost, I am a novelist not a propagandist or a theologian, nor do I write for an exclusively Catholic audience. However, I very much believe that if one lives and writes within the Catholic moral universe, the Faith will be very much present in the story.

What genre do you think  serves your purpose best and why?

My novels are mostly historical fiction, simply because I have an interest in history and in reconstructing the past. I am very interested in how we are influenced by past events and how the lives of ordinary people are changed by being alive at a particularly cataclysmic moment, such as the outbreak of war or the height of the Mediterranean slave trade.

Are there any genres you would like to try in future? 

I have been challenged to write a comedy – and that really would be a challenge! Who knows, maybe I will pluck up the courage to try one day…

The Good Counsel Network. Saving London's Babies since 1997

Catholic women bloggers  all across the world are publishing posts today on some of the unsung heroes and defenders of the most vulnerable members of society: the unborn. Here's the story of a group doing amazing work in the heart of London.

Although never actively involved in the pro-life movement we've always been a pro-life family. That only changed in 2014 when our eldest son Ettore found himself in a pro life minority at his Catholic school so he started researching arguments and talking points so that he could enter prepared into debates to defend life. 

Ettore spent two weeks of work experience at the  Society for the Protection of the Unborn Child and he also had the privilege of spending a few afternoons praying the rosary outside abortion clinics . 

His first experience outside those facilities was very strong and sitting around the dinner table, the talkative Ettore was left speechless. He brought home the suffering of the women that entered those doors of death. The natural next step was to get in contact with pro-life organizations and see how to help. 

Among the Pro Life Organizations in London one in particular came to our attention: the 'Good Counsel Network'. 

The big abortion providers in the UK like BPAS and Marie Stopes have plenty of visibility in doctor's surgeries and hospitals while the kind of work done by the Good Counsel Network lies hidden and goes on quietly and constantly saving as many lives as possible.

"Abortion kills twice. It kills the body of the baby and it kills the conscience of the mother. Abortion is profoundly anti-women. Three quarters of its victims are women: Half the babies and all the mothers."

~ Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta ~ 

Last week despite being in the middle of some vitriolic attacks from the UK national media Clare McCullough one of the founders of the Good Counsel Network found the time to answer some of the questions I've always wanted to ask her.

What inspired you to set up the good counsel network?

A man I met who was doing this work in Dublin, Eamonn Murphy. He came over to the UK to show us what he was doing in Ireland. Once I saw how he was reaching out to women I knew I wanted to be involved. At first I waited for someone else to start it so I could help! But finally he set it up really and dropped it into my lap. I knew if I didn’t start working on it, it was just going to fizzle out and I couldn’t bear that happening.

What is the most common reason for a woman to present herself for an abortion?

We see all sorts of reasons. Lots of illegal immigrants with no papers, no rights to work, no rights to housing or benefits and in the UK most people think that “everyone” gets housing and benefits if they are in need. Little do people realise most of these women do not even qualify for help at homeless shelters and so we regularly take 8 month pregnant women off the street. Others are fleeing domestic violence or family disapproval. Many come because they are not in a stable relationship. But if I have to name the one common factor, it is contraception. Even the UK’s two major abortion chains say that about half their “clients” are using contraception when their unplanned pregnancy occurs.

Are more Catholics presenting themselves for abortion than one would expect?

There are too many Catholic women that we see. I think at first I was shocked to see how many Catholics were looking for abortions. But now I completely understand that Catholics have had very poor teaching on sexual morality and respect for life and general catechesis has been poor, at least throughout the West, for some time now. Naturally this leads to people living as they have been taught. The weak passing on of the Church’s teaching on contraception is a huge problem in this regard too. Unfortunately many other Christians are also aborting in large numbers. But we think it’s a blessing when God sends these ladies to us and we have a chance to offer alternatives.

"Once that living love is destroyed by contraception, abortion follows very easily."
~ Bl. Mother Teresa ~

What is the average age of people presenting themselves from abortion?

In our centre 25-35 is about the average age. But nationally it varies. Young single women from the early teens and up are very vulnerable to abortion. Schoolgirls can have their abortion booked for them by the school nurse and be referred straight away for abortion with no parent being informed.

If you could say one thing to somebody considering abortion what would it be?

If the person had any belief in God, I would say, “Please pray about your decision. Stop for a moment and consider why God has sent this child into your life now. You may think he or she is a “mistake”, people make mistakes, but God does not make mistakes.” – it is important that believers recognise that God is giving them a mission in their life, to be a mother. But whether or not she believes in God it would be important to build up her self esteem – encouraging her by helping her see that she can do this – respect her child’s life and achieve the things she wants to achieve in life, and then putting her in touch with good, solid support. If she really feels she cannot take on raising her child, we must also be able to help her compassionately to find life-respecting choices such as giving her child up for adoption.

When women turn away from abortion at the door of an abortion centre, 9 out of ten of them say “Well, I prayed about my decision and then when I turned up I met Jane”  [or some pro-life volunteer]. Many of these women don’t know for sure if they even believe in God. But their prayer seems to be heard anyway.

What is and what could be the father’s role in all of this?

The father is the missing person most of the time. He is often the reason for the abortion – if he says he doesn’t want the baby the chances of her aborting soar. Some men do come in with the woman, but often just to make sure the abortion happens. Occasionally we see men who desperately want the woman to keep the baby. Of course we support them and advise them in every way, but legally he has no say in her decision – so if he cannot persuade her to keep the baby she will have the abortion. Like women, men need to realise contraception is nowhere near 100% effective in the real world. And if the woman is open to abortion he needs to consider that before he risks a sexual relationship. Once she is pregnant, he will have to be able to address her fears about him or his commitment to her if she is dubious about having the baby. Instead he needs to make a commitment to her (i.e.Marriage) before risking sex and in preparing for that commitment, discover whether or not she and he share an unconditional respect for life.

What kind of practical help do you offer to women once they've decided to keep the baby?

We try to be directed by the Mother as to her real needs. We let her say “If I just had this or that I would cope”. In reality the help is mainly financial help, housing, moral support, legal or medical advice, maternity clothes, a place to hide, help with childcare, baby goods, ongoing counselling. But we are not limited to that and can provide help “outside the box” if the mother-to-be has an unusual request but we can see it would genuinely help.

Can you tell us about one experience that you think back to when things don't seem to be going so well?

This work is a continual spiritual battle and in a certain sense things never seem to be going well, because we often seem to lurch from one crisis (financial crisis, practical problems) to another (media attacks and so on). But we are so blessed to see so many women who were once set on abortion keeping their babies, You have a terrible day, where no-one wants your help or girls in awful situations get forced into abortions and you feel like you want to give up. Then you walk out of the counselling room into the reception and there are 3 women with their babies who you remember were in equally awful situations last year. And the annual Christmas party where we see dozens and dozens of mums we have been blessed to assist. Also having Mass and Adoration in our Centre each day really helps us. These things keep you going.

What would you say to people who think that pavement counselling is judgemental towards women in a difficult moment for life?

I would say “Go there and see for yourself” Go and see the way these women go in and how they come out. See women being dragged in there, literally sometimes, with no advocate on their side. Pope John Paul II said It is not right that they should be left alone. In the UK, the old model of reaching women via pregnancy testing and Crisis Pregnancy Centres is dead. Ask your local pregnancy centre and if they are honest they will tell you they are seeing almost no-one. As in the UK abortion is mostly free and you can get almost immediate appointments, anyone with the slightest doubts about their pregnancy can be shepherded to abortion centres before they have had time to think. We have actually had to call the police to help women inside the abortion centres who are calling us from the toilets because they are being pressured by others to abort! We have recently put some video testimonies of women who we have helped on the doorsteps of abortion centres on our website www.goodcounselnetwork.com  Please listen to them and then you will understand why we are there.

How can people support the 'Good Counsel Network’?

In so many ways! Firstly praying for our work is key. We believe it is a spiritual battle we are fighting. Secondly, financially. Supporting mothers in need is an expensive business. Thirdly by volunteering, maybe coming to pray at Adoration in our Centre (in Central London) or helping with the work in the Centre, or by volunteering at one of the prayer vigils outside an abortion centre. You can sign up for any of these options on our website. And you can sign up for regular texts about women we are praying for that especially need your help. http://www.goodcounselnetwork.com/

        Email:      info@goodcounselnetwork.com

         Address:  The Good Counsel Network

                          PO Box 46679

                          LONDON

                          NW9 8ZT

Here are the posts of the other Bloggers:

• A Baby’s Breath Crisis Pregnancy Center: A Hidden Gem in Bucks County, PA
• Raising Awareness of Local Pregnancy Counselling, Part 1
• Raising Awareness of Local Pregnancy Counselling, Part 2
• (Watch this space more to follow)